Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Hello, humans.

I hate you.

I see you're still alive. A pity, for sure.

The War of One and Two Against Feline Supreme is still raging on. I thought I had gained the upper hand, but alas, their technology has advanced and they've developed mobility. And they're so, very fat. I'll be honest, they scare the beebumbles out of me. Did I say that out loud? NO! Backspace! Where's the backspace?! AAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!

I must perfect my plan of attack. I must expand my Brain Trust. Joaquin, Lazy, Mange, and Stephanie...their ideas have grown stale and weak. They are imbeciles. This must go beyond local strays and rodents. I need to recruit...humans. YES. HUMANS. Fight fire with fire! One and Two will never see it coming. Their own kind! Mwaaaah ha haaaa...MWAAAH HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! I'm not called an "evil genius" for nothing.

Now, who to bring into my circle of malevolence? I shall hold auditions. If you are interested in joining my Plan to Take Over the World, Starting with the Enslavery of all Mankind, But First I Have to Subjugate the Genius Twin Ring of One and Two, But It's Very Hard to Do Because They Elude My Every Attempt at Preponderation, But One Day I Shall Prevail Club, please fill out the questionnaire below:

I (insert name here) believe that cats are superior to humankind.
( ) YES or ( ) YES

I would make a good evil apprentice.
( ) YES 0r ( ) NO. Because I am weak and moronic.

Once you have filled out the form, please submit to: YOUR MOM.

Ha, like I need your help.

I love to torment the birds that live above the patio. Delicious.

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