Monday, June 22, 2009

I'm a happy happy happy doggie!

Hey, it's me! It's Seumas! I'm a doggie! Hey! I love you so much! 

How are you?! It's Monday!

D'you hear that? 

Anyways! So, it's Monday! I love Mondays! 

The kitty Blue, I love her so much, she left her computer on and I just wanted to say Hey! And I found some pictures from Christmas. I love Christmas! I love it so much! And every day is like Christmas! 

Mom and Dad dressed us up like Santa's helpers! I loved it! I love when they do that! It makes me happy. The Blue kitty, she's my best friend, she likes it too...I think. 

Happy Christmas! 

I love you! I'll see you la---hey! It's Blue! Hey kitty! I love you! Can I kiss you?! 

Agh. Wonderful. Now my keyboard smells of cheese and grass. Well, obviously the picture of myself dressed as an insufferable representation of the lackluster, vomit-inducing holiday filled with "spirit" and "joy" has been digitally altered and is a complete falsification. Stop looking at it, you filthy humans. You disgust me. Get back to work, minions. 

I hate you. 

You smell of old ham, 

Monday, June 8, 2009


Hello, humans. 

I hate you. 

Today...well, humans requested an audience with myself. I graciously granted it. I am a very generous individual. Dumbface was also present. My humans proceeded to tell me that they have ordered a new human to join my household staff and will be available for service starting January 2010. This pleased me greatly as the chores have gone unmanned for quite some time and I've been looking to add new warm bodies to my servant roster. And also because I eat babies for breakfast. Delicious. They also mentioned things like "dirty diapers" and "crying" and "late nights" and "outdoor cat," but my attention was demanded exquisite reflection in a mirror. 

Today, I have fashioned a chariot on which I will be carried around the premises by beast of burden. One of the many perks of ruling a kingdom. 

Here is a picture of me. I'm more delightful today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, I was divine. 

I send all my loathing and despair...from the bottom of the hollow pit where my heart once was,