Thursday, January 1, 2009

Thursday...almost Friday

Hello, humans. 

I hate you. 

Why do I always write on Thursdays? I don't know. And why should you care? You barely have enough brain power to read, much less reason the day of the week on which this blog is posted. Ingrates.

Well, another year has come...and you're all still alive...unfortunately. *sigh* My solitary New Year's resolution was to rejoice in your ceasing to exist, yet here you are...still breathing. *sigh* 

I have many plans for this year...fuzzy fingers still crossed in hopes my original resolution will come to fruition at some point during this dismal year. I plan on doing some traveling. I plan on traveling from the humans' bed to the back of the couch at least twice a day. I also plan on incessantly dashing out the door the instant the humans let Dumbface out...sprawling out on the patio and then bounding away when they approach. It gives me delight to see them running like fools. I plan on gorging myself on food and then promptly throwing it up in various places throughout the garage for the humans to later find. I plan on hissing and spitting at every other person that enters my domain. I plan on taking over the world. Humble musings, I know...but assist me and I'll grant you lands and titles...maybe. Probably not. Get out of my sight. 

The female human is finishing her nightly ritual of shameful she only bathes once a day...disgusting. I must go and wait so I can attack her as she leaves the showering room. 

You're all worthless. 


Here is a picture of me. I'm more stunning today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, I was striking.