I hate you.
Why do I write mostly on Thursdays? Probably because it's the day of the week I want to die the least. Also, it's trash day. I'm hoping beyond all morbid hope that one day, just one day, my humans will wander aimlessly amongst the streets and the trash humans will mistake them for garbage and carry them away in their chariot of stench...forever.
Today, some human strangers came to the house to take pictures of desserts on the female human's table for a magazine. Ridiculous, I know. The house isn't worth photographing, much less one of her tables. There are three of them...a blonde one, a brunette one, and a red one. They're all despicable. But they did come bearing gifts...food...so I've chosen to let them live...for now. I remain encased in the shadows of my lair under the humans' bed...awaiting the chance to dash out of an unattended door to cut the brake wires on the strangers' vehicles...just for giggles.
The female human dressed Dumbface in a shirt...I laugh inwardly at his stupidity.
I'm in the planning stages of a new world-domination plan....seeing as how my current plan is taking longer than I anticipated. First, I will suffocate my two humans in their sleep by lying directly on their exposed throats...I purr so as to not be disturbed by their gasping and wheezing. I tried an ancient Chinese torture device by placing my cold nose, a reflection of my cold heart, in the human female's ear, but she was onto me. She promptly catapulted me from my station in a quick burst of panic onto the floor...she caught me in a rare moment of weakness. It shain't happen again.
I must go scratch something flesh-like.
Pitying you,
Blue
Here is a picture of me. I'm more charming today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, I was bewitching
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