I hate you.
Today, I ordered the Twilight saga off Amazon. I think the pasty white, skinny boy is hideous. The tan, wolf boy...mmm mmmm...now him, I could sop him up with a biscuit. I hate books.
Today, I think I might make a traditional English trifle to celebrate how amazing I am today. I probably won't eat any of it and if I do, I'll just throw it up later on the rug. The humans seem slightly annoyed when I throw up right in front of the door. It's the only time of day the shriveled remnant of my heart feels any emotion.
The female human was making ornaments last night. Today, I think I'll chew on a few of them and/or carry some away to place in my litter box in the garage. I think she'll be very pleased with that seeing as how her craft creations are nothing but crap and belong in the litter box. I'm just helping her. Better I crush her dreams now than someone else years down the road.
I hope you are miserable today.
Non-affectionately,
Blue
Here is a picture of me. I'm more glorious today than I was yesterday. Yesterday I was magnificent.
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