I hate you.
Today is a new day...a new week. Just as depressing and tiresome as the ones before. I've almost lost the will to live, yet I will survive. As long as I know how to purr, I know I will stay alive. Earlier, I overheard the humans conversing about taking Dumbface to the V-E-T. I have yet to crack their idiotic cipher, but I believe V-E-T is code for a top secret human/canine facility where they attempt to foil our plans to dominate man and dogkind. They will not succeed! I will get in there and disrupt their foolish plans. I've ordered Kevlar body armor and specialized ninja upgrades. I will be prepared.
Later this afternoon, I intend on knocking every piece of candy from the female human's recently filled candy bowl out onto the floor for Dumbface to find and run off with while the female human chases him. It's the little things...
It's taken me many weeks, but I am down to one Soft Paw...only the purple one remains. But not for long. At night, while the humans sleep like fat cows, I whittle away at the loathsome sheaths covering my beautifully glossy blades of death until VICTORY. Alas, another fortnight and I shall be free of the colored shackles that hinder my glory. Until then...I will wait...lurking...always lurking...
I hope at least one of you cries today.
Nobody cares,
Blue
Here is a picture of me. I'm more resplendent today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, I was sublime.
1 comment:
Blue looks retarded in this picture. Her eyes are crossed.
Post a Comment